OAK RIDGE, NJ--(Marketwire - July 22, 2010) - "You make me mad!" It's a phrase that has crept into our daily conversations, but it's actually a misnomer, according to one expert.
"Most of us believe that other people or situations have the ability to make us angry. This is a big misconception," said Janet Pfeiffer, author of "The Secret Side of Anger" (www.PfeifferPowerSeminars.com). "No individual or event has the power to make you mad. Anger is actually a choice, one that occurs depending on that person's perception (thought). What we choose to think about an experience we're having or the person we're involved with determines how we feel. For instance, if someone criticizes you, you can think 'She's so mean!' Or, you can choose, 'How unfortunate someone could be so insensitive.'"
Pfeiffer, a certified violence counselor and motivational speaker, offers tips on how to reduce anger, including:
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Put everything into perspective. Ask yourself if the situation is worth getting upset about. If not, let it go. If it is important, identify what needs to change and create a plan to accomplish that. Switch your focus (thought) from the problem (negative) to the solution (positive).
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The moment you feel anger well up inside you, remember SWaT: Stop, Walk and Talk. Stop what you are doing. This prevents the situation from escalating. Next, Walk away. Creating distance allows you to calm down and cool off. "Out of sight, out of mind." Third: Talk yourself calm. Discuss your feelings and situation with a neutral party, seeking deeper understanding and guidance.
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Create a "Peace Plan": daily activities to engage in that will naturally reduce your levels of anger. Some of my favorites are aerobic exercise, prayer, meditation, music, nature and my dogs. Each of these naturally replaces stress and anger with feelings of peace and serenity.
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Even a simple act such as deep breathing or smiling will help alleviate anger.
"Some believe that if you have your health you have everything. I believe when you have inner peace you have it all."
About Janet Pfeiffer
Janet Pfeiffer, President and CEO of Pfeiffer Power Seminars, LLC (www.PfeifferPowerSeminars.com), is an internationally known motivational speaker, award-winning author, TV host and personality who is a frequent guest on radio and TV.
Contact Information:
Rachel Friedman
Rachel@newsandexperts.com